Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart: A Buddhist Perspective on Wholeness  by Mark Epstein. 

2/5 rating. 

Book #149 of 2019. Read December 29, 2019.

I’ve read a decent number of other Buddhist books, but this one just didn’t really do much for me. There were a few good points by Mark, but overall, I just felt like this was a very esoteric book that would not be accessible to the wide majority of people.

I did enjoy his ending: “With some gratitude, I realized that my awareness was now stronger than my neurosis. This did not mean that things would never go to pieces, only that I did not have to fall apart when they did. In fact, my own ability to go to pieces was protecting me in this situation. I did not have to let my identity as an efficient and together person imprison me.” Unless you are deep into Buddhist literature (and I would say deep because even between doing some meditation, reading, and listening to many hours of podcasts I still didn’t feel like I got everything Mark was discussing), you can skip this book and go with something a little more approachable.

Quotes:

“When a child does a new task, it was noted, she will turn back quickly to check if her mother is watching. Catching the twinkling in her mother’s eye, she will be empowered to keep going, and she will take her mother’s approval, or affirmation, with her into the new activity. Self-esteem and self-assurance grow in proportion to how mirrored a child feels. When this process is inadequate, the child feels empty.”

“I just want to be somewhere where I’m not”

“Opening oneself to one emotion deepens the experience of the other. The heart can open in sadness as much as it does in joy.”

“When plagued with a sense of unworthiness, it is easy to feel deficient and to see the love of another person as the only possible solution to one’s plight.”

“This work struck me as a perfect metaphor for the kind of path the Buddha had in mind. In building a path through the self to the far shore of awareness, we have to carefully pick our way through our own wilderness. If we can put our minds into a place of surrender, we will have an easier time feeling the contours of the land.”

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