We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter by Celeste Headlee. 

4/5 rating. 

Book #89 of 2019. 

In a world that seems to be devolving into more disagreements and less charity in our everyday interactions, this book discusses the importance of good conversation. “In order to have important conversations, you will sometimes have to check your opinions at the door. There is no belief so strong that it cannot be set aside temporarily in order to learn from someone who disagrees.” Choose to reach out, someone has to start a conversation, let it be you!!

Quotes:

“By some measures, Americans are more polarized now than we have been since the Civil War.”

“‘We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.’ – Katharine Hepburn”

“This is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a journalist: explain what you want and what you expect, and be honest.”

“Taking a moment to think about your own expectations and sharing them with your conversational partner sets the stage for a productive exchange.”

“There are subjects so sensitive and topics so emotionally charged that discussions about them can be tricky and even dangerous. But there is not a human being on this planet with whom you have ‘nothing in common.’ And there is no topic so volatile that it can’t be spoken of.”

“Listening to someone doesn’t mean agreeing with them. The purpose of listening is to understand, not to endorse.”

“Not every conversation, or even most, will end with a hug and an epiphany. Sometimes, just learning what someone else thinks, without changing any minds, is more than enough.”

“It turns out, the more money you have, the less able you are to correctly identify other people’s emotions.”

“But most of the time, refocusing the conversation on you is unlikely to be helpful and can actually be hurtful. What’s more, it’s never wrong to choose not(ital) to talk about yourself.”

“Furthermore, our disagreements didn’t prevent us from listening to one another. In order to have important conversations, you will sometimes have to check your opinions at the door. There is no belief so strong that it cannot be set aside temporarily in order to learn from someone who disagrees. Don’t worry; your beliefs will still be there when you’re done.”

“The goal of an honest, respectful dialogue is to open our minds, not to change them.”

“As a nation, as a culture, as a functional society, we are stagnating. We are separating the entire population into groups of us (those who agree with us) and them (those who don’t). If you only speak to people who agree with you, you shut out the possibility of new perspectives, discoveries, and information.”

“One of the best lessons I’ve learned in nearly twenty years as a journalist is that everyone has something to teach me.”

“If you want to become smarter, listen more. If you want a stronger marriage, listen actively. And if you want better friendships, stop talking and listen. ‘The most basic of all human needs,’ said Dr. Ralph Nichols, who pioneered the study of listening, ‘is the need to understand and be understood.’”

“Even if you only have one conversation a day, it should inspire and enlighten you.”

IG Link.